Last Day

Nicejellybean: Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and support with us yesterday. I know that everyone especially who knew our Donut are very distressed with the news and I hope that what I am going to write will somehow alleviate some of the grief that all of us feel. I feel that this is the best I can do for closure.

3 weeks ago
We discovered Donut peeing everywhere on the floor which was something unusual for us as he always does his toilet duties in his cage. We took it lightly as we thought he was growing up and showing some signs of marking. Then he produced an occasional pee with blood which only happened around 2 times after which Donut’s urine became normal dark yellow. Hence we assumed he was fine again. The urine was stinky but we did not give it much thought.

1 week ago
We noticed Donut could not control his bladder and would give out tiny droplets of pee all over the floor.

On Monday, this week 2 July 2007
During the evening after Coolboy returned home from work, Donut was looking quite unwell and Coolboy immediately took him to his usual vet – See Veterinary Medical Centre but the clinic was closed. At home, he walked wobbly and slowly as though in pain. Even in this condition, Donut (Daddy’s Boy) wants to follow Coolboy wherever he went in the house. Coolboy carried him when he saw Donut could not manage himself. We also noticed that there was no pee coming out even though Donut tried his hardest to pee. Coolboy tried to assist by massaging his genitals and stomach as shown from the information gathered from the internet. Somehow, that did not work. His stomach contracted and dilated but Donut failed to pee. We then decided to seek a Vet first thing next morning.

Being cautious and guarded, that night I discussed with Coolboy about seeking other professional vet’s opinion as I did fear that Donut’s condition was not stable. I also wanted a Vet who is compassionate, who would act quickly and go all out to save the animals even when things look bad. Also I was apprehensive about sending Donut to See Veterinary Medical Centre.

On Tuesday 3 July 2007
The next morning, I went off to work and Coolboy took Donut to the Medical Centre at 10am. At the clinic, Dr. See tried to extract the excess urine from Donut by inserting a needle through his genitals. However, no urine came out and Dr. See concluded that perhaps Donut has kidney stones which prevented the urine from coming out. He did a blood test and arranged for an ultrascan for Donut in the afternoon which location was somewhere away from the clinic (not sure whereabouts). Meantime, Donut stayed in the clinic and he was placed in a cage.

At 11.30am Coolboy decided there was nothing left to do at the clinic, left Donut with the Vet and went back home. An hour later, Dr. See called Coolboy and informed Donut had collapsed. When Coolboy rushed to the Clinic, Donut had passed away. Dr. See informed that from his blood works, Donut suffered from kidney failure.

At 12.30pm, I received a call and the bad news from Coolboy. I immediately took leave from work. On the way to the Clinic, tears rolled down my face and my heart felt great sadness which I had never felt before. Upon reaching the Clinic, I could not believe that Donut had suddenly left us. When I saw his body, he was placed in a black plastic bag and it looked kind of undignified. I requested for a cardboard box and Donut was transferred into a box which was much proper. I carried him in the box and went back to home which was a short distance away.

At home, he was lying comfortably on his favourite cushion bed. Everything happened so unexpectedly and suddenly that we were in shock, at loss about what should we do next. We stayed with him at our apartment through the afternoon and evening not knowing what to do. Whether to cremate him or bury the little one? Whilst starring into Donut’s face, I cried again out of disbelief and a broken heart. I talked to him like normal and stroked his little face as if he was still there with us! I told him to wake up and screamed ‘wakey-wakey Donut’ hopeful that perhaps he might awake from his deep sleep and breathe again.

I am feeling we are at fault in this situation as I felt we did not give our best to our precious Donut ie the proper medical attention or that we should not left him at the Vet alone. I feel that there is a little bit more that can be done for Donut and we could have prevent him passing away by going the extra mile for him. That’s too late now and I’m afraid I’ll never forgive myself for this. We regret for not doing all the things we should have done for Donut and we have let him down.

By now, those who knew about Donut’s passing have either text or called us to express their feelings. Coolboy and myself cried each time someone mentions Donut’s name. Suddenly, Donut has left emptiness in our lives.

As we live in an apartment, we have no garden for a burial place. The only option if we bury Donut would be at Coolboy’s family house which I did not feel right as the family was not close to Donut. We arranged for our Donut cremation on 4 July 2007. It is really painful to imagine that some one we loved so much reduced to only fragments of bones and ashes. We felt Donut would want to spend his time close to us and not buried at a strangers’ garden. By cremation, we could have him close to us for the moment which would make Donut happy. Tina and Julie offered for Donut to be buried at their garden which was a nice thought and I do not mind as Donut would be with people who loved him. I could visit anytime too. Perhaps later, we’ll arrange a burial for his ashes.

For the benefit of other dog lover, we would like to share the reason why we lost our baby, so other can prevent this ASAP. Donut is believe to have Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) for couple of days which resulted in acute kidney failure as his can't release all the toxin in his urine.The problem is Donut is still very playful and didn't lost his appetite at all for past few days. He still pee, not a lot and although the urine color is dark yellowish, we didn't paid much attention then. He only showed his pain on Monday afternoon. When we send him out for vet visit on Tuesday, it was too late. His last kidney functionality reading (Can't remember the actual TERM) Urea is 200+, where a normal pug reading should be below 60. The creatinine level was 2+ (normal < 1) Later the Vet told us, Pugs are quite strong on witholding their pains as they want to please their owner every minutes they have with their owner. It's our fault that we didn't paid much attention to the fellow we love so much, else...

Though Donut was with us for only a short time, he touched so many hearts with his cute face, playful manner and most of all his sweet gentle nature. Total strangers were captivated by him when met for the first time. He was truly special to us. Let us take comfort that he chooses to go in his own will and that the Lord is so kind to relieve him of all pain and suffering. Donut has gone to the Rainbow Bridge among all the special friends where they run and play together at the side in Heaven. He must be enjoying himself there. One day we will meet again in a joyous reunion and cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

I hope we’ll all feel better and always remember Donut close in our hearts. Only God can guide him through the rest of his journey now. Farewell and be brave my little fellow.

Forever loved and dearly missed by Coolboy, Nicejellybean, Pugsquaders and all those who knew him.