Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Last Day

Nicejellybean: Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and support with us yesterday. I know that everyone especially who knew our Donut are very distressed with the news and I hope that what I am going to write will somehow alleviate some of the grief that all of us feel. I feel that this is the best I can do for closure.

3 weeks ago
We discovered Donut peeing everywhere on the floor which was something unusual for us as he always does his toilet duties in his cage. We took it lightly as we thought he was growing up and showing some signs of marking. Then he produced an occasional pee with blood which only happened around 2 times after which Donut’s urine became normal dark yellow. Hence we assumed he was fine again. The urine was stinky but we did not give it much thought.

1 week ago
We noticed Donut could not control his bladder and would give out tiny droplets of pee all over the floor.

On Monday, this week 2 July 2007
During the evening after Coolboy returned home from work, Donut was looking quite unwell and Coolboy immediately took him to his usual vet – See Veterinary Medical Centre but the clinic was closed. At home, he walked wobbly and slowly as though in pain. Even in this condition, Donut (Daddy’s Boy) wants to follow Coolboy wherever he went in the house. Coolboy carried him when he saw Donut could not manage himself. We also noticed that there was no pee coming out even though Donut tried his hardest to pee. Coolboy tried to assist by massaging his genitals and stomach as shown from the information gathered from the internet. Somehow, that did not work. His stomach contracted and dilated but Donut failed to pee. We then decided to seek a Vet first thing next morning.

Being cautious and guarded, that night I discussed with Coolboy about seeking other professional vet’s opinion as I did fear that Donut’s condition was not stable. I also wanted a Vet who is compassionate, who would act quickly and go all out to save the animals even when things look bad. Also I was apprehensive about sending Donut to See Veterinary Medical Centre.

On Tuesday 3 July 2007
The next morning, I went off to work and Coolboy took Donut to the Medical Centre at 10am. At the clinic, Dr. See tried to extract the excess urine from Donut by inserting a needle through his genitals. However, no urine came out and Dr. See concluded that perhaps Donut has kidney stones which prevented the urine from coming out. He did a blood test and arranged for an ultrascan for Donut in the afternoon which location was somewhere away from the clinic (not sure whereabouts). Meantime, Donut stayed in the clinic and he was placed in a cage.

At 11.30am Coolboy decided there was nothing left to do at the clinic, left Donut with the Vet and went back home. An hour later, Dr. See called Coolboy and informed Donut had collapsed. When Coolboy rushed to the Clinic, Donut had passed away. Dr. See informed that from his blood works, Donut suffered from kidney failure.

At 12.30pm, I received a call and the bad news from Coolboy. I immediately took leave from work. On the way to the Clinic, tears rolled down my face and my heart felt great sadness which I had never felt before. Upon reaching the Clinic, I could not believe that Donut had suddenly left us. When I saw his body, he was placed in a black plastic bag and it looked kind of undignified. I requested for a cardboard box and Donut was transferred into a box which was much proper. I carried him in the box and went back to home which was a short distance away.

At home, he was lying comfortably on his favourite cushion bed. Everything happened so unexpectedly and suddenly that we were in shock, at loss about what should we do next. We stayed with him at our apartment through the afternoon and evening not knowing what to do. Whether to cremate him or bury the little one? Whilst starring into Donut’s face, I cried again out of disbelief and a broken heart. I talked to him like normal and stroked his little face as if he was still there with us! I told him to wake up and screamed ‘wakey-wakey Donut’ hopeful that perhaps he might awake from his deep sleep and breathe again.

I am feeling we are at fault in this situation as I felt we did not give our best to our precious Donut ie the proper medical attention or that we should not left him at the Vet alone. I feel that there is a little bit more that can be done for Donut and we could have prevent him passing away by going the extra mile for him. That’s too late now and I’m afraid I’ll never forgive myself for this. We regret for not doing all the things we should have done for Donut and we have let him down.

By now, those who knew about Donut’s passing have either text or called us to express their feelings. Coolboy and myself cried each time someone mentions Donut’s name. Suddenly, Donut has left emptiness in our lives.

As we live in an apartment, we have no garden for a burial place. The only option if we bury Donut would be at Coolboy’s family house which I did not feel right as the family was not close to Donut. We arranged for our Donut cremation on 4 July 2007. It is really painful to imagine that some one we loved so much reduced to only fragments of bones and ashes. We felt Donut would want to spend his time close to us and not buried at a strangers’ garden. By cremation, we could have him close to us for the moment which would make Donut happy. Tina and Julie offered for Donut to be buried at their garden which was a nice thought and I do not mind as Donut would be with people who loved him. I could visit anytime too. Perhaps later, we’ll arrange a burial for his ashes.

For the benefit of other dog lover, we would like to share the reason why we lost our baby, so other can prevent this ASAP. Donut is believe to have Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) for couple of days which resulted in acute kidney failure as his can't release all the toxin in his urine.The problem is Donut is still very playful and didn't lost his appetite at all for past few days. He still pee, not a lot and although the urine color is dark yellowish, we didn't paid much attention then. He only showed his pain on Monday afternoon. When we send him out for vet visit on Tuesday, it was too late. His last kidney functionality reading (Can't remember the actual TERM) Urea is 200+, where a normal pug reading should be below 60. The creatinine level was 2+ (normal < 1) Later the Vet told us, Pugs are quite strong on witholding their pains as they want to please their owner every minutes they have with their owner. It's our fault that we didn't paid much attention to the fellow we love so much, else...

Though Donut was with us for only a short time, he touched so many hearts with his cute face, playful manner and most of all his sweet gentle nature. Total strangers were captivated by him when met for the first time. He was truly special to us. Let us take comfort that he chooses to go in his own will and that the Lord is so kind to relieve him of all pain and suffering. Donut has gone to the Rainbow Bridge among all the special friends where they run and play together at the side in Heaven. He must be enjoying himself there. One day we will meet again in a joyous reunion and cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

I hope we’ll all feel better and always remember Donut close in our hearts. Only God can guide him through the rest of his journey now. Farewell and be brave my little fellow.

Forever loved and dearly missed by Coolboy, Nicejellybean, Pugsquaders and all those who knew him.


Anonymous said...

i'm not good at writing this but i know how both of you are feeling now, the place where your heart should be feels very very empty! Well, be strong, life goes on and the sweet memories of Donut will always be there. You both gave him your best so don't feel bad and start blaming yourself. Hv you consider getting another dog. It won't be the same as having Donut but it will definitely help to cure your broken heart. Take care.

Fishman said...

Please accept my condolence. My heart ached when reading about what has happened although I know you guys and Donut only through your blog. I hope you will remain strong and believe that Donut is in a good place although he is no longer around. Hang on there....

Anonymous said...

JOyce and James,

Am so sorry about the incident. He will be remembered always and forever.
Be strong ok. I believe he's gone to a better place. and thanks for sharing all infos.
Take good care.. till then.
Wern nee

Anonymous said...

Dear Donut mummy and daddy,

pls accept my condolence, as it may be quite difficult to accept the shock, it is no one's fault in this matter. i am sure you both loved donut and donut loved you guys as well. Donut had moved on to a better place and you guys should carry on your life as well. Even in pain, donut tried to please you guys to make sure you guys don't worry and i guess you both should do the same and be strong. Donut wouldn't want to see you both sad. Well, Take care and hang in there ok.

Pet tales

Kbean said...

I'm so sorry. I don't know how you did it. I couldn't live without my own pugs.

AM said...

Im SO sorry for your loss. I just came over from My Pugs BLog where AManda had posted the news about Donut. I believe in the Rainbow Bridge and I am sure Donut is having a GLORIOUS time playing with others that have crossed before him.

Jason said...

I'm so sorry to hear Donut has left all of us.

guynxtdoor said...

its my 1st time visiting this blog and i am saddened with the news. i read the blog from the 1st entry and saw many many good memories that you guys have with Donut

the consolation is that Donut is NO longer in pain..and he is in a better place.


LMizzle said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

He is no longer in pain and he has many wonderful memories with you. May he live on in spirit.

L. said...

My most sincere apologies for what happened to your dear friend and dog/child. I, too, lost my friend and companion recently and understand what it is you are going through.

My beautiful beautiful cat Miso died suddenly and without warning on May 23rd. We still do not know what happened to him, though heart disease is suspected, but in the space of two hours, he was gone, after having a wonderful day full of play and love.

The shock of losing my friend, child, and companion is still very fresh in my heart and mind and I suppose it always will be.

Your loss is tragic but know that there are many many people who know and understand what you are going through. My thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

It's Bobo (the pug in bee's costume)'s mummy here.. came across ur blog by chance today, so sorry to hear that Donut has left us.. he will be remembered by all of us here.. I am sure that he felt contented to be loved and pampered by 2 of you so much! Cheer up and take care!!


Goofy said...

This is the 1st time I visit this blog.. and this blog makes me cry....
Goofy and I are sending our deepest condolence...

Goofy and Lily

rpm's Mother said...

I read your post on the Rugas Pug blog. ChiChi is my granddog and the whole family misses her terribly. Our daughter misses her so very much. I want to tell you how very, very sorry I am about Donut. I know all of you must have an aching heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you. We all love our pets so much and it is so hard to lose them. Thank you for posting your sympathy about ChiChi and our sympathy is with your family.